In my most recent video, I put out a challenge to think about a life-changing moment or an a-ha moment and to contemplate what gift or lesson that moment taught you. It got me thinking about some of my own life-changing moments and the impact they have had on my life. The two I mentioned in my video were my deepest heartbreak, and the birth of my kids — two very different experience that gave me incredible lessons. There have been other life-changing moments but I will just focus on these two because they are the most impactful.
It is my belief that we are constantly learning new things. We just must decide if we are open to learning or accepting the gift of challenge. Life-changing moments are not a bad thing. Yes, sometimes a profound change can take us to dark or devastating places. Change can also take us to places of happiness that we never knew existed. The path we take in a life-changing moment often depends on whether or not we can accept the lesson or gift. It can take us time to appreciate these life-changing moments, especially when they can bring us to our knees and we don’t have any clue how we are going to recover. Always remember: it does get better. We have to fight through our pain and realize there is light to embrace. I do understand in those painful moments it is hard to remember those things. Breath and breath again, and know you will get through it.
In my two examples, my darkest, most painful moment was my deepest heartbreak. I remember the pain I felt, my tears and my deep sadness over what had happened…the misunderstanding, the confusion and the great loss. There is a roller coaster of emotions you feel when the numbness wears off. You feel pain and you go through that for awhile, then every day instead of pain you start to feel a little bit better even for just for a moment. I remember falling back on my friends and family to push me through, even though, at times, I didn’t believe them. They were right; things did get better. The day came when I started to realize everything I had learned from the relationship and the pain that accompanied its ending. I started to become grateful of all the gifts I had been given. Now please note, my gratitude and feeling better took time, healing and work.
What valuable lessons came from my deepest pain? I learned self-love and strength. I found myself again and became who I was meant to be. I realized that sometimes what we think we have planned isn’t what is best for us — dreams sometimes have to die and we have to let them go. I learned the importance of honoring my sadness instead of running from it. Grieving the loss is so important. We do well to remember that grief will still be there but our relationship to that grief changes over time.
Lastly, I learned that once we have truly healed, we can accept new and wonderful things in our life.
My other life-changing moment, or moments, were the birth of my children. How amazing they are and the valuable lessons and gifts they teach me every day. I remember their first cries and in an instant my world changed. In my opinion, your whole view of the world changes because it’s just not about you anymore. You realize you must find balance, you understand the meaning of parental love and unconditional love and you start to learn new things everyday about life. There is just too much to list when it comes to all the amazing things my kids have taught me. Here is the short list that I hold on to just about every day: breathe and breathe again, patience, unconditional love, finding balance when taking care of yourself and your children, and finding joy in their laughter and creativity. Simplicity is key and seeing the world through a child’s eye is like getting to relive moments of joy or seeing innocence again.
The other thing about life-changing moments is that we really do change. I do believe that sometimes it’s hard to accept that things have changed. We want to hold on to our past life and don’t want to embrace the new one. This in and of itself is a process and again I do believe when we embrace the change and accept it amazing things come into our lives.
The challenge that I had posted was to take a minute and really embrace the gifts or lessons that have been given to you. The deeper part of the challenge was and continues to be to really honor all the amazing work that you have done to work through the change. We are all at different stages of learning the lessons our life-changing moments had brought us. Wherever you are in the process, know that you can do it and believe in yourself.
As we continue to live our lives we will walk with more life-changing moments and maybe another lesson to remember is that you will survive whatever comes your way. Stay strong and be open to change.