Outside my neighbor’s house is an old tree that he has decided to cut down. When I look at the tree all I can think about is its history and the stories I am sure the tree could tell. In some ways I wish it could talk to tell us its stories and to help us learn from the past. In some regards it makes me think about relationships. How can we appreciate our stories instead of forgetting about them or just getting caught up in the negatives?
Getting caught up in the negatives is like thinking about why the tree should be cut down; too many leaves in the yard, too many attractions for animals, it’s just too much work. I get it, and I understand but like relationships/marriage we often look for the easy way out instead of thinking about ways to work through things or find a compromise. Appreciate your story! Take the time to listen, to accept and to cherish. Learn how to appreciate your past, appreciate your partner and work together. I know that is not always easy and there may be some things from our past that we do just want to forget. As a therapist I can tell you it is so important to ask “what can I learn from yesterday that will help me improve tomorrow?”
If the tree could tell us its story my hope is that we could really listen to the message its saying. In a marriage or a relationship listen, listen, listen and maybe through listening and learning together you can create another story. Just like my neighbors house, even though the tree won’t be there anymore the neighbors have in a sense created a new story.