A few weeks ago my husband and I got sick at the same time. It wasn’t pretty or a pleasant experience by any means. Having kids and being sick at the same time is really quite an interesting challenge. I am sure many of you have experienced something like that, but for us it was a first. It got me thinking about all the unspoken communication that occurred on that weekend, and how important that is for a relationship.
In therapy people often discuss how they would like their communication to improve. Any relationship, whether it’s the relationship between two partners, a parent and a child or an employer and employee will benefit from focusing on communication. Some questions that I often ask in counseling are “what do you want communication to look like?”, and “what is your nonverbal communication and how is it just as important as your spoken words?”
Something that is helpful is working on establishing or nurturing your foundation at times when you are “in health”, that is when the verbal communication is key. Addressing things like your hopes and dreams, talking about the basics and talking about the hard times as well while “in health” will strengthen your foundation before it’s needed “in sickness”. I also recommend that you do check in’s with your partner or spouse. This needs to be more than the typical “how’s your day?” It requires a few minutes of being very present in the moment and connecting with your partner or spouse. When you do these check in’s, you are nurturing your foundation so when things get tough or when you get sick at the same time there is that nonverbal understanding that you have with each other. The key is to talk to each other when problems aren’t happening in the relationship.
Sometimes couples get so caught up in a fight, they forget what they were trying to address in the first place. When we talk about expectations, a belief system and our values at a time when we aren’t arguing then when problems arise there is a foundation to say wait what’s our plan of action instead of fighting about what to do.
The weekend that we were sick we had an understanding of each other, and patience with each other that was different than other times. We were able to lean on our foundation, and even though we didn’t speak much we had an understanding of each other’s expectations and limitations, and a plan of action for how we were going to do this together. Whether in sickness or in health, effective communication really is the key.
Do any of your relationships need help with communication?
Call 727-565-2551 or click here to schedule a session with Monica.